Okay, this day has finally arrived. I've been holding out a secret piece of info from you, my readers. This may be a bit embarrassing but here goes: I'm a huge SpongeBob fan.
They say the first step toward recovery is saying it out loud. So I've made it that far.
This comes up because I was reading Lindsay's post about her blister. (in addition to 18 miles on treadmill - that would be a PR for me as well ... but another confession here is that I routinely go 10 or 12 miles on the wheel. Sports Ctr and other mindless channel surfing (and people watching) at the Y help pass the time).
Anyway, back to the blister: I'm thinking how can I describe this situation in a comment back to L for her blog. Personification of an inanimate object gives human qualities to stuff around us. "The sea was angry that day" or "the couch was so comfy...it wrapped its arms around me and I found i couldn't get anything done all day". Etc. I like coming up with a good juicy personification every now & again. So I'm trying to come up with something clever to say. I'm thinking: blister. sister blister. blister baby. blister buddy... BINGO. That reminds me of my friend SB. Episode 23B - February 3, 2001: "Bubble Buddy" in which SB creates his own friend...everyone else doesn't like him & deny that he really exists. Of course then silly antics ensue.
A bubble & a blister are practically the same thing, so let me suggest you name it Bubble Buddy! BTW, watch the episode. They come at Bubble Buddy with all manner of needles, pins, and other sharp objects. But Bubble Buddy is a very slippery fellow!
As I'm looking thru my SB show titles I'm seeing some other good running related topics:
Squeaky Boots - patterned after Poe's Tell Tale Heart. Is there anything worse than a pair of running shoes making an unusual noise? Haunting.
Something Smells - apparently a sea-onion sundae smells worse than Lindberger cheese. And so does that guy at last weekend's 5k race who obviously hadn't washed his shirt in a month!
Pre-Hibernation Week - Sandy gets a little nutty before hibernating. Also describes that last good week of mileage before 'insert excuse here' happened.
Krusty Love - unsuccessful snot rocket which unbeknownst to you has dried onto your face/shirt.
No Weenies Allowed - Nike's Women's Marathon.
Survival of the Idiots - this was me in the last miles of my marathon.
The Great Snail Race - some of these are just too easy.
These really are the titles from SB episodes! How much fun? Mostly I'm procrastinating from getting out there for my run today. Why? Don't know. I farted away the morning, then got busy but told myself I'd make time this afternoon. Now been sitting here for like 2 hours reading blogs and trying to come up with a funny entry for today. I must end this and finally get out there for my run! Ugh, very much like my hero SpongeBob I am an expert at killing lots of time with very little to show for it. That fact has never bothered me near as much as it does my wife, my boss, etc.,etc.
Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts
Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts
Monday, July 13, 2009
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Ham for Paparazzi
Managed to track down a pic of me just after last Saturday's 5k race. Still would like to see a photo while running, but this will have to do. Feeling like 21:11 not too bad in that outfit.
Today: rest day.
Yesterday: first bike ride of the year! Felt good to be on wheels. Nothing noteworthy during ride. 17.5 miles @ 14 mph. I'm writing this down on my mileage log as equivalent of 5 miles running. I'm on track for a decent week as long as I do that long run on Saturday.
Peace. Here's a couple of shout-out's to fellow bloggers:
1. Very funny post from Joy, RN in NJ
http://runjoy.blogspot.com/2008/11/i-need-life.html
I went back to read after she reported this week on a successful snot rocket !
http://runjoy.blogspot.com/2008/11/i-need-life.html
I went back to read after she reported this week on a successful snot rocket !
2. Congrats to Lindsay... a comfortable 200 mile month...oh, and btw, engagement. http://www.chasingthekenyans.com/2009/07/june-2009.html
3. Denise could use your help fundraising for BackOnMyFeet. She's doing her first Ultra, only been running for like about two years. http://run-denise-run.blogspot.com/2009/07/246-for-june.html
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Race4Time @ Joe's Crab Shack
The family decided to join me for the 5k race this morning, although sans son #1 because he's now officially got the teenager attitude and it just isn't cool to wake up early and be seen with the P's at a race. That makes all my years of effort being a 'good' parent seem so satisfying!
Since we were expecting about 20 of my Pike Creek run club members to be here, we had all decided on a Mardi Gras Beach Party theme. It was either that or everyone go in drag... which I just hate wearing a wig & makeup when I'm trying to run fast. (insert drum rimshot: bum-bum-crash)(insert laugh track: hardy har har). For this reason I ran the race in a Hawaiian shirt with a couple of lei's around my neck & a large silly balloon hat. Might have slowed me down a bit, but not more than a few seconds. I've never run with any type of costume, it was fun! Not sure if or when I'll do it again, but sometimes you just have to go for it.
As to the race, started well back from the front. Good thing too becuase there's a lot of fast people at this race. The age group 1st place is a nice gift certificate to the local running shoe store. 2nd & 3rd get small GC too. Took it out sensibly & under control. I could see a few runners ahead of me that I hoped to be finishing with. But I didn't push the pace early and figured I would catch them later. This course is totally flat. Temp was around 72-75 or so and half sun/half clouds. First mile in 6:41 which seemed great because I was feeling good. The RD was at the 1mm taking photo's but he seemed to be having an camera issue so didn't get me. I really wanted a pic of me running in my zany costume but it didn't happen. other race pics here. As the second mile came back around to the riverwalk path I could tell that I was losing ground to everyone (Theresa, Jack, Ivan plus unk's) in front of me except Ray. This is where the typical 5k discomfort began to set in. That fact tells me that I should've/could've gone out faster in the first mile. Reach 2mm in 6:50 (13:31) which seemed fine; Ray was about 10-15 seconds in front of me.
The 3rd mile I felt like I was running my race, slowing pulling up towards Ray. I could see Jack was battling someone from his own a.g. and they were pulling farther away from me (he would finish 36 secs ahead). Was I didn't figure is that Ray was actually slowing because my split was 7:01 (20:32). When I saw that I was over 7 mins I knew that i wasn't working hard enough. The 3mm was just where I was catching up with Ray. i called over to him "c'mon - finishing kick" and then he proceeded to out sprint me to the line. Final .1 in :39 - which is good kick... again indicating that I should've worked harder earlier. 21:11 is not bad. 20 sec improvement from last weekend, but still not this year's best time. And about one full minute slower than last year's times.
This coming week I plan to take it a bit easy, cycle down then build a big week the one after. June has been a nice transition from post-marathon recovery into summer speed. A few more weeks of speed and then fall marathon training begins! Tomorrow will be a gentle trail run done solo & early morning. Looking forward to that.
Since we were expecting about 20 of my Pike Creek run club members to be here, we had all decided on a Mardi Gras Beach Party theme. It was either that or everyone go in drag... which I just hate wearing a wig & makeup when I'm trying to run fast. (insert drum rimshot: bum-bum-crash)(insert laugh track: hardy har har). For this reason I ran the race in a Hawaiian shirt with a couple of lei's around my neck & a large silly balloon hat. Might have slowed me down a bit, but not more than a few seconds. I've never run with any type of costume, it was fun! Not sure if or when I'll do it again, but sometimes you just have to go for it.
As to the race, started well back from the front. Good thing too becuase there's a lot of fast people at this race. The age group 1st place is a nice gift certificate to the local running shoe store. 2nd & 3rd get small GC too. Took it out sensibly & under control. I could see a few runners ahead of me that I hoped to be finishing with. But I didn't push the pace early and figured I would catch them later. This course is totally flat. Temp was around 72-75 or so and half sun/half clouds. First mile in 6:41 which seemed great because I was feeling good. The RD was at the 1mm taking photo's but he seemed to be having an camera issue so didn't get me. I really wanted a pic of me running in my zany costume but it didn't happen. other race pics here. As the second mile came back around to the riverwalk path I could tell that I was losing ground to everyone (Theresa, Jack, Ivan plus unk's) in front of me except Ray. This is where the typical 5k discomfort began to set in. That fact tells me that I should've/could've gone out faster in the first mile. Reach 2mm in 6:50 (13:31) which seemed fine; Ray was about 10-15 seconds in front of me.
The 3rd mile I felt like I was running my race, slowing pulling up towards Ray. I could see Jack was battling someone from his own a.g. and they were pulling farther away from me (he would finish 36 secs ahead). Was I didn't figure is that Ray was actually slowing because my split was 7:01 (20:32). When I saw that I was over 7 mins I knew that i wasn't working hard enough. The 3mm was just where I was catching up with Ray. i called over to him "c'mon - finishing kick" and then he proceeded to out sprint me to the line. Final .1 in :39 - which is good kick... again indicating that I should've worked harder earlier. 21:11 is not bad. 20 sec improvement from last weekend, but still not this year's best time. And about one full minute slower than last year's times.
This coming week I plan to take it a bit easy, cycle down then build a big week the one after. June has been a nice transition from post-marathon recovery into summer speed. A few more weeks of speed and then fall marathon training begins! Tomorrow will be a gentle trail run done solo & early morning. Looking forward to that.
Saturday, June 6, 2009
Top Ten List
I've thought about this one a lot in the last few weeks 'post marathon' so without further procrastination, here's my Top Ten "Ways to Screw-up Your 1st Marathon"
10. Set an unrealistic goal. If you do your 20 milers at 8:40 pace, then what illogical thought process made me think I could do 8:20 for the marathon. . . and hold it an additional 6.2 miles?
9. Start out waaaayyy too fast. And on a humid morning, and a hilly course. Hello? What was I thinking?
8. When the facts are clearly right in front of you, fail to adjust to the situation early enough to make a difference. Actually, failed to adjust at all really. At mile 7= 4 minutes ahead of pace; then at mile 10= 5 mins ahead. Huh? How come it didn't occur to me that I must slow down until my legs already were beginning their revolt/cramps?
7. Drive your car 10 hours the day before the race. Duh. Arrive at the hotel at a quarter till midnight. Doh!
6. Recruit a support person who is not a runner. In all fairness to the Mrs., this ended up being a minor issue given all the other major screw ups. But the water, cereal bar, and dry towel would've been nice at 16. And the missed Gu handoff was a real factor. The refusal to wake up & get out of bed at 5:30...plus the double back to the hotel after packet pick-up for the wife pick-up, that added a bit of stress.
5. Fail to interpret the course description profile correctly. "This course has LOTS of HILLS? Why didn't they just come out and say that?"
4. Other translation miscues: When they said this marathon is good for first timers, they didn't mean that the course is not challenging; they meant 1,000's of locals will come out to watch you suffer. When they said the race has a high BQ ratio, they forgot to mention that they invite a lot of fast people to come up to Vermont to race. Kind of like Carlsbad 5000 is 'America's fastest 5k' because of the runners that it attracts (it's not the course there either people).
3. Start out way too fast. This one cannot be understated as the primary reason for failure.
2. Drink a few beers & eat crappy food for the pre-race meal. It tasted good, but greasy cheese puffs, mini spinach quiche and fried mushrooms is not proper carbo-loading fare.
1. And from the home office, the number one way to screw-up your first marathon is... "Logical thinking . . . who needs that?"
10. Set an unrealistic goal. If you do your 20 milers at 8:40 pace, then what illogical thought process made me think I could do 8:20 for the marathon. . . and hold it an additional 6.2 miles?
9. Start out waaaayyy too fast. And on a humid morning, and a hilly course. Hello? What was I thinking?
8. When the facts are clearly right in front of you, fail to adjust to the situation early enough to make a difference. Actually, failed to adjust at all really. At mile 7= 4 minutes ahead of pace; then at mile 10= 5 mins ahead. Huh? How come it didn't occur to me that I must slow down until my legs already were beginning their revolt/cramps?
7. Drive your car 10 hours the day before the race. Duh. Arrive at the hotel at a quarter till midnight. Doh!
6. Recruit a support person who is not a runner. In all fairness to the Mrs., this ended up being a minor issue given all the other major screw ups. But the water, cereal bar, and dry towel would've been nice at 16. And the missed Gu handoff was a real factor. The refusal to wake up & get out of bed at 5:30...plus the double back to the hotel after packet pick-up for the wife pick-up, that added a bit of stress.
5. Fail to interpret the course description profile correctly. "This course has LOTS of HILLS? Why didn't they just come out and say that?"
4. Other translation miscues: When they said this marathon is good for first timers, they didn't mean that the course is not challenging; they meant 1,000's of locals will come out to watch you suffer. When they said the race has a high BQ ratio, they forgot to mention that they invite a lot of fast people to come up to Vermont to race. Kind of like Carlsbad 5000 is 'America's fastest 5k' because of the runners that it attracts (it's not the course there either people).
3. Start out way too fast. This one cannot be understated as the primary reason for failure.
2. Drink a few beers & eat crappy food for the pre-race meal. It tasted good, but greasy cheese puffs, mini spinach quiche and fried mushrooms is not proper carbo-loading fare.
1. And from the home office, the number one way to screw-up your first marathon is... "Logical thinking . . . who needs that?"
Friday, June 5, 2009
Goat's Head Soup? Goat's Head Soap!
I don't know why, but at the marathon we rec'd a full sized bar of Goat's Head Soap with the packet pick-up. This stuff says they make it in France, Canada, and Vermont. Yikes, who wants to bathe with Goat's Head Soap?
I've wanted to post this pic & comment for like 2 weeks. I never seem to get totally caught up around here. Anyways, I'm also working on my autobiographical 'top ten ways to choke on your first marathon' which I will add to this posting sometime very soon (hopefully tonite while I'm watching the Phils play L.A. from West Coast).
Friday, May 22, 2009
T- 48 hours & counting...
I put a few things out this morning to be packed up tonite. We leave early Saturday a.m.
This is a link to some funny short videos from Brooks shoe ads.
http://www.runningsuperfans.com/#/videos/ice-cream
I'm psyched that I found my Glycerin 7's when I did. These shoes have helped me get this far, now they'll go the 26.2 with me on Sunday. I thought about wearing something lighter but I don't want to wreck my feet/legs totally for this first marathon. I'll just go with the same that's gotten me this far - full weight trainers. Brooks makes great shoes, why did I wait so long to try them?
Plan this week was to get a few naps, but they never happened. Duh, why do I even think up this stuff? Tonite's sleep is important! Gotta start packing in some carbs !!
This is a link to some funny short videos from Brooks shoe ads.
http://www.runningsuperfans.com/#/videos/ice-cream
I'm psyched that I found my Glycerin 7's when I did. These shoes have helped me get this far, now they'll go the 26.2 with me on Sunday. I thought about wearing something lighter but I don't want to wreck my feet/legs totally for this first marathon. I'll just go with the same that's gotten me this far - full weight trainers. Brooks makes great shoes, why did I wait so long to try them?
Plan this week was to get a few naps, but they never happened. Duh, why do I even think up this stuff? Tonite's sleep is important! Gotta start packing in some carbs !!
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Let's play quarters!
Quarters. Remember that old drinking game? This is something different.
I just read an article about not going out too fast during a race. I have very often been plagued with this problem. Even to the point of rationalizing that it's 'my style' and that 'it works for me' because I can 'bank seconds or minutes to be spent during latter miles' etc., etc. ( article here: http://www.trainingbible.com/joesblog/2009/05/time-trial-pacing.html )
Basically,
divide the race in 4 quarters and then work it like this:
1. Perceived effort should feel easy while not being too far beyond anticipated pace.
2. Run your own race at goal - but no faster.
3. Maintain pace although perceived effort pushes into the fatigue & pain zone.
4. Push yourself to max effort. If you've measured it out right then you can maintain pace thru the finish line.
The article is written for cycling with power meter & HR technology utilized. That doesn't work for me. But the principle is the same - and it's nothing new.
I'd like to start out at 8:45 like I did on my LSD easy runs, but that's too far from BQ goal pace and I'll never make up that much time. Something like 8:10 - 8:20 for the first 6 miles might work. Then goal pace - 8:00 - thru to mile 20. Then finish the 6 remaining @ 7:45. It looks good in print. And if I feel beat at 18 or 20 (or whenever) then I can still finish in a 3:35 or whatever.
This is not so much different than what I've been going over in my head for days now. I think I may be obsessing about this pacing thing a bit. Reality is that there's tons of variables and the final decision will have to be on the starting line.
Weather report stills looks beautiful for Sunday in Vermont - awesome. And my small cold is def breaking up and passing - TG.
Making a big list of stuff to bring including:
Fuel belt, hat, 'best' socks, shorts, singlet.
Create pace band, bring with scotch tape.
Bring my own pillow for hotel bed (as if I'm sleeping much the nite before).
Vasoline (toes), sun screen (nose), band aids (nips).
Headlamp & flashlite -
that last one is because I want to climb Mt. Mansfield (highest peak of VT) and depending on my recovery/fatigue level it may be late Sunday or early Monday. This might sound a bit harsh, but if I run the marathon & make the summit of Mansfield then I'll never have to return to VT. Everyone is telling me that it's my kind of state - lots of outdoors stuff - and that I'm going to luv it up there. But the reality is that there's so many places I've never been that I no longer am traveling with the plan of making multiple trips. One state, one trip, do what you got to do and cross it off the list. (i really got to get my head examined?). So far my only other high peaks are Del, NJ, and NY. But VT is a good compliment since I saw Lake Champlain from the top of Mt. Marcy two years ago. The only other stuff up there is sking (no), ice cream (supermarket), and fishing (lousy at catching fish).
So marathon first, then Mt. Mansfield. I am not leaving without reaching these goals.
I just read an article about not going out too fast during a race. I have very often been plagued with this problem. Even to the point of rationalizing that it's 'my style' and that 'it works for me' because I can 'bank seconds or minutes to be spent during latter miles' etc., etc. ( article here: http://www.trainingbible.com/joesblog/2009/05/time-trial-pacing.html )
Basically,
divide the race in 4 quarters and then work it like this:
1. Perceived effort should feel easy while not being too far beyond anticipated pace.
2. Run your own race at goal - but no faster.
3. Maintain pace although perceived effort pushes into the fatigue & pain zone.
4. Push yourself to max effort. If you've measured it out right then you can maintain pace thru the finish line.
The article is written for cycling with power meter & HR technology utilized. That doesn't work for me. But the principle is the same - and it's nothing new.
I'd like to start out at 8:45 like I did on my LSD easy runs, but that's too far from BQ goal pace and I'll never make up that much time. Something like 8:10 - 8:20 for the first 6 miles might work. Then goal pace - 8:00 - thru to mile 20. Then finish the 6 remaining @ 7:45. It looks good in print. And if I feel beat at 18 or 20 (or whenever) then I can still finish in a 3:35 or whatever.
This is not so much different than what I've been going over in my head for days now. I think I may be obsessing about this pacing thing a bit. Reality is that there's tons of variables and the final decision will have to be on the starting line.
Weather report stills looks beautiful for Sunday in Vermont - awesome. And my small cold is def breaking up and passing - TG.
Making a big list of stuff to bring including:
Fuel belt, hat, 'best' socks, shorts, singlet.
Create pace band, bring with scotch tape.
Bring my own pillow for hotel bed (as if I'm sleeping much the nite before).
Vasoline (toes), sun screen (nose), band aids (nips).
Headlamp & flashlite -
that last one is because I want to climb Mt. Mansfield (highest peak of VT) and depending on my recovery/fatigue level it may be late Sunday or early Monday. This might sound a bit harsh, but if I run the marathon & make the summit of Mansfield then I'll never have to return to VT. Everyone is telling me that it's my kind of state - lots of outdoors stuff - and that I'm going to luv it up there. But the reality is that there's so many places I've never been that I no longer am traveling with the plan of making multiple trips. One state, one trip, do what you got to do and cross it off the list. (i really got to get my head examined?). So far my only other high peaks are Del, NJ, and NY. But VT is a good compliment since I saw Lake Champlain from the top of Mt. Marcy two years ago. The only other stuff up there is sking (no), ice cream (supermarket), and fishing (lousy at catching fish).
So marathon first, then Mt. Mansfield. I am not leaving without reaching these goals.
Monday, May 18, 2009
BTW & p.s.
Thursday, May 14, 2009
T - 10 days & counting,,,
Today is the first day that I've truely felt excited about the marathon. There's no turning back now! I can't imagine how much energy I'm going to have on race morning . . . psyched; totally. I'll really have to control myself to not go out way too fast!
I did skip my run again today (getting to be a habit), but I'm very unfocused now. Since there's nothing more I can do to improve for the marathon I feel like I have no purpose running!?!? I've got to get out there tomorrow for a few easy miles.
I must be one of very few runners that actually gains weight during the marathon prep cycle of training. Disappointing that I couldn't lose the 5 or 10 pounds that i had set as my goal. At this point it's too late to diet; i don't want to be weak or un-nurished going into this thing so my only diet goal now is please, please, just don't let me gain any more pounds in the next ten days. Doh!
I did skip my run again today (getting to be a habit), but I'm very unfocused now. Since there's nothing more I can do to improve for the marathon I feel like I have no purpose running!?!? I've got to get out there tomorrow for a few easy miles.
I must be one of very few runners that actually gains weight during the marathon prep cycle of training. Disappointing that I couldn't lose the 5 or 10 pounds that i had set as my goal. At this point it's too late to diet; i don't want to be weak or un-nurished going into this thing so my only diet goal now is please, please, just don't let me gain any more pounds in the next ten days. Doh!
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Blogger's "next blog" button
I luv that button at the top of the page for Blogger's "next blog" feature. But you have to ask what are these guys doing? their page is some sort of band tribute site, Perros de la Noche, and Los Autenticos Decadentes. Yikes!
Sunday, February 1, 2009
Pre-run Boomer
Ok, warning: I said today's posts will be mannly and not for the faint of heart. This is intended to be funny, but some may not care for my potty humor.
So this morning while I'm getting ready to go out for my long run I'm also relaxing with the family. Chit-chat with the wife over coffee, what time does Super Bowl start? Let's make a list for a Target run. I gather together my gloves & favorite warm hat. I help the kids get waffles for breakfast (nothing for me). I pack my gear bag and check it twice, water bottle, gatorade, Gu gels, fuel belt, watch, etc. I've already slathered Vasoline on my toes and I've also got the heart rate monitor on. My HR while sitting at the kitchen table is a calm n' cool 65 but each time I get up to grab another essential to take with me then the HR blips up around 75 and then coasts back down when I return to my seat.
The Mrs. chronically gives me crap about being disorganized while getting ready for a race departure or a long run workout. Little workouts aren't nearly so important; but I don't like to drive somewhere for a long run only to find out that I've forgotten some piece of indispensable equipment. That always f's with my mind.
So I've got everything together, I'm right on time, I'm all bundled up and I'm actually stepping into the garage when I feel a rumble / gurgle from my stomach. Uh-oh, what's up? I put my gear bag into the car but decide I'd better go back inside for minute for a gut-check. Cue louder rumblin. Oh crap, I think I gotta do a crap... or do I? You know that in-between feeling? But I don't like to risk it when I'm going into the woods for a long run. Like the saying goes "a bear may shit in the woods" but I prefer porcelain & Charmin over bushes & leaves. As soon as I'm back inside, it's all like "whatcha forget?" and the peanut gallery adds "that was a quick run!". Hardy har har. I start unlayering, hat, gloves, coat, running jacket, RUMBLE w/a half flip-flop. Uh no, who's in the bathroom? "Go upstairs, I'll be another minute."
There's always that certain tipping point when the situation goes from just a 'maybe' to an emergency in about 10 seconds flat. I reached that point. I bolted for the steps. I'm taking the steps 2 at a time until I feel the need to clench the butt cheeks and then my pace slows. By the time I'm at the bathroom door I've already got my sweat pants half way to my knees. This is going to be a close one. Almost there, just need a few more seconds. As I pass by the sink I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror - the grimace on my face was not a good look. This was one of those kinds of craps where you literally do not have a second to spare. I whipped my shorts down to my knees while simultaneously doing a 180 and bending to sit. I honestly can't say for sure if my butt felt the cold seat first, or if my sphincter finally gave out before touchdown. CAA-BOOM. Power Poopie. Whoa, I barely made it. Rarely has a crap taken over every ounce of focus & energy with such haste. I'm certain a 5 second delay would've ruined my whole day.
But as it was, it was just another small part of the pre-run ritual. Having a blog allows one to expand on the details of every day minutia such as this. Like I always say to my kids, "Are you sure you don't want to just try before we leave? It's a long trip."
So this morning while I'm getting ready to go out for my long run I'm also relaxing with the family. Chit-chat with the wife over coffee, what time does Super Bowl start? Let's make a list for a Target run. I gather together my gloves & favorite warm hat. I help the kids get waffles for breakfast (nothing for me). I pack my gear bag and check it twice, water bottle, gatorade, Gu gels, fuel belt, watch, etc. I've already slathered Vasoline on my toes and I've also got the heart rate monitor on. My HR while sitting at the kitchen table is a calm n' cool 65 but each time I get up to grab another essential to take with me then the HR blips up around 75 and then coasts back down when I return to my seat.
The Mrs. chronically gives me crap about being disorganized while getting ready for a race departure or a long run workout. Little workouts aren't nearly so important; but I don't like to drive somewhere for a long run only to find out that I've forgotten some piece of indispensable equipment. That always f's with my mind.
So I've got everything together, I'm right on time, I'm all bundled up and I'm actually stepping into the garage when I feel a rumble / gurgle from my stomach. Uh-oh, what's up? I put my gear bag into the car but decide I'd better go back inside for minute for a gut-check. Cue louder rumblin. Oh crap, I think I gotta do a crap... or do I? You know that in-between feeling? But I don't like to risk it when I'm going into the woods for a long run. Like the saying goes "a bear may shit in the woods" but I prefer porcelain & Charmin over bushes & leaves. As soon as I'm back inside, it's all like "whatcha forget?" and the peanut gallery adds "that was a quick run!". Hardy har har. I start unlayering, hat, gloves, coat, running jacket, RUMBLE w/a half flip-flop. Uh no, who's in the bathroom? "Go upstairs, I'll be another minute."
There's always that certain tipping point when the situation goes from just a 'maybe' to an emergency in about 10 seconds flat. I reached that point. I bolted for the steps. I'm taking the steps 2 at a time until I feel the need to clench the butt cheeks and then my pace slows. By the time I'm at the bathroom door I've already got my sweat pants half way to my knees. This is going to be a close one. Almost there, just need a few more seconds. As I pass by the sink I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror - the grimace on my face was not a good look. This was one of those kinds of craps where you literally do not have a second to spare. I whipped my shorts down to my knees while simultaneously doing a 180 and bending to sit. I honestly can't say for sure if my butt felt the cold seat first, or if my sphincter finally gave out before touchdown. CAA-BOOM. Power Poopie. Whoa, I barely made it. Rarely has a crap taken over every ounce of focus & energy with such haste. I'm certain a 5 second delay would've ruined my whole day.
But as it was, it was just another small part of the pre-run ritual. Having a blog allows one to expand on the details of every day minutia such as this. Like I always say to my kids, "Are you sure you don't want to just try before we leave? It's a long trip."
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
On the menu, or just a condiment?
I saw a friend's blog about food which reminded me of this comment.
"Mmmmmmm, catsup! Have always loved it. When I was a kid, my brother & I would make catsup sandwiches...it started when we ran out of cold cuts. But then it became a choice. Just white bread & packets from Micky D's. Now that I'm older I use whole wheat. Still tastes awesome!"
Here's another food related item from just the other day: I like to invent new food combo's that my boys think are gross/weird/etc. We were having fried chicken patty on burger buns. Corn & mac 'n cheese on side. The kids wanted me to top mine with corn. But instead I surprised them by choosing the mac. I said it was practically like a cheese burger anyway, but they wouldn't try it themselves...something about the macaroni on a bun bothered them. They also didn't like when I smothered it in catsup. Issues with a condiment on top of mac 'n cheese. Did I mention that my kids are a bit fussy about their food?
My all time classic - which the boys still talk about - is my P'sBurger. Which is just a regular cheeseburger with a heaping serving of peas on top. Between the catsup and the gooey cheese the peas will stay put. It's really quite good.
I'd like to know what's your favorite strange combination food?
"Mmmmmmm, catsup! Have always loved it. When I was a kid, my brother & I would make catsup sandwiches...it started when we ran out of cold cuts. But then it became a choice. Just white bread & packets from Micky D's. Now that I'm older I use whole wheat. Still tastes awesome!"
Here's another food related item from just the other day: I like to invent new food combo's that my boys think are gross/weird/etc. We were having fried chicken patty on burger buns. Corn & mac 'n cheese on side. The kids wanted me to top mine with corn. But instead I surprised them by choosing the mac. I said it was practically like a cheese burger anyway, but they wouldn't try it themselves...something about the macaroni on a bun bothered them. They also didn't like when I smothered it in catsup. Issues with a condiment on top of mac 'n cheese. Did I mention that my kids are a bit fussy about their food?
My all time classic - which the boys still talk about - is my P'sBurger. Which is just a regular cheeseburger with a heaping serving of peas on top. Between the catsup and the gooey cheese the peas will stay put. It's really quite good.
I'd like to know what's your favorite strange combination food?
Some folks think catsup on a hot dog is wrong, but let's stretch a bit further than that.
I'll be sure to ask my kids to try your recommendations...
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